You may have heard “There is no WRONG way to respond to rape or abuse”
Everything you read and hear about rape or abuse is talk of fear, pain, and loss. But what if your experience was different? What if how you feel and think about it now isn’t what you think you “should?”
What if some part of you…liked it?
It’s confusing and fills you with shame. You can’t tell anyone about these feelings. As strange as it sounds, you’re in good company. Many women feel and think the way you do, but nobody talks about it.
If this describes you, you might find yourself:
· Having sensations of arousal, feeling turned on, even orgasmed during your rape or abuse
· Feeling a desire to re-experience the feelings you felt in what happened
· Searching for porn or stories that remind you of what happened
· Masturbating to thoughts of being raped or of your own rape/abuse
· Seeking partners who will re-create your rape or abuse
· Trying to repeat your past experiences or something like it
· Playing with Consensual Non-Consent themes and wanting to experience “the real thing”
· Not wanting to feel this way anymore
· Wanting to enjoy “normal” sex
· Tired of the guilt and shame that comes with all of this